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| Netflix |
In no time at all, Heartstopper has become a critical hit, scoring a ‘Certified Fresh’ 100% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes while hitting the Top 10 Netflix shows in numerous countries within days of its release. In that sense I don’t feel I really need to review it as such. I’m pretty sure a big chunk of the people reading this have already seen it and are aware of the praise it is getting too so you’d probably learn nothing new. The story, the scripting, the performances from the cast, the cinematography, the soundtrack… everything about it is just so beautifully done. I genuinely couldn’t find a fault with any of it. That being said, the show has given me some thoughts that I wanted to dive into and share.
The show feels so quintessentially British and is centered on the experiences of school or sixth form age teenagers - age 16-18 for my non-Brit friends who have no idea what 'sixth form' is. It's very clear that the show has been produced with that audience demographic in mind but, as I've already said, that didn't stop us from enjoying it. As a ‘creeping ever closer to 40’ age gay guy there is definitely a big contrast between the teenage experiences that this show presents and the experiences I personally had as a teen in the 90s.
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| The Heartstopper books by Alice Oseman |
There was the movie 'A Beautiful Thing' released by Channel 4 films in 1996 although I confess I didn't see it at the time. I think I finally saw it around the mid-2000s when I first met my now-husband, long after I had acknowledged and come to terms with my own sexuality. You could also cite the fact there was 'Queer As Folk' released in 1999, also aired by Channel 4, as being a watershed moment in LGBTQ representation on screen and I would agree wholeheartedly. I was 16 (and most definitely not 'out') when QaF hit the screens and it was a big deal, albeit one that I watched in complete secrecy, telling no one and I mean not a single person, that I had seen it. Retrospectively, despite Queer as Folk featuring a similarly aged teenage boy to both myself at the time of release and as the charcters in Heartstopper, it clearly wasn't written for or aimed at that audience. It was very much an adult show in its depictions of the LGBTQ community, following a group of 20-something gay men and the world they inhabit. There is such a vast difference between the worlds of a teenager at school and young men frequenting the bars and clubs of Canal Street. Nevertheless, at the time it was also the representation that was so rare but desperately needed. I mention Queer As Folk, particularly because while it was a representation of the community, I certainly didn't identify or see myself in it. It wasn't particularly relatable for me back then, even if it has become relatable since. It gave me my first impressions of what being a gay adult might be like but at the time, I wasn't quite in that place yet.
Watching Heartstopper through the lens of an adult who grew up through a time with anti-homosexual laws in place and therefore a distinct lack of representation in the media was quite bittersweet. I am genuinely in awe of the show and everything it represents whilst simultaneously recognising a teenage romance that I didn't experience and obviously, never will. I definitely felt a sense of melancholy for the teenage years I didn't get and what my actual teenage experience of being bullied was. As I've mentioned, I most definitely wasn't 'out' at the age of 16 and as I've mentioned in previous articles, I was actually very much fighting against the very idea that I was gay. Looking back, so many people around me seemed to already know and bully me for something that I didn't think was the case. There is no way on this earth that 16-year-old me would have come out and I didn't know a single person of my age that had either.
Obviously, at that time just seeing a single TV show wasn't going to be the game-changer for me or for society as a whole. These things take time. However, I can't help but wonder what it would have been like to see this kind of representation when I was at that formative age. I can only imagine that for teenagers grappling with their identity, Heartstopper will help them feel seen. For me, seeing the blossoming romance between the characters of Nick & Charlie or Tara & Darcy and the acceptance of Elle as a female is truly joyful. If the show is even a mildly accurate representation of what life for teenagers is now like then I am so happy that those teens don't have to experience what I and so many who had it even worse did.
That isn't to say that it's all plane sailing and everyone in the show gets to instantly be their authentic self. They are still very much discovering what that actually is. Nor does it give the impression that homophobia doesn't exist. The homophobia that still exists today is threaded throughout the plot with such realism and honesty. It is, in part, a coming-out story after all and I was particularly impressed with how they portrayed the character of Nick coming to understand his own identity. There was one particular scene where he simply googled the question "am I gay?" and again, it made me think of how that wasn't entirely an option for me. Sure, we had the internet back then... on our family computer... that was in our lounge... that we all used... that had a search history that we all had access to... Ya see where am I going with that?
Of course, in Nick's using the internet to better understand his own feelings, even completing one of those 'how gay are you?' quizzes (we've all done them, even long after we have come out) he comes across the homophobia and transphobia that do exist both online and in the real world. I felt a pang of sadness for the character because, in his search for answers about his own sexuality, he sees a wall of negativity. I wanted to reach out, give him a hug and say that it was ok and that it wasn't all as bad and traumatic as that. With the benefit of hindsight, things have got better. At the same time, it was heartwarming to see a character asking those questions about himself and finding his identity in such an honest and realistic way. I couldn't help rooting for him as a character throughout because on reflection, I wish my teenage years, or more to the point, my 'coming-out' experience could have been at least a little bit like his.
Again, as a grown adult who is absolutely out and proud now, this show wasn't necessarily relatable in the ways you might expect but it awakened a lingering sadness and longing for a reality that I didn't get to live in. In some ways, I also felt a trace of bitterness and anger for a teenage experience that wasn't permitted to me, that was stolen (for want of a better word) from me. Looking at my social feeds, particularly for those of a similar generation, I know I am not alone in the show evoking those kinds of feelings. I am sure there will be many out there that would simply say, "yeah well, you can't change it so get over it" and I actually agree to an extent. We can't go back and change the experience we had so there isn't really anything that can be gained from dwelling on it either. But, recognising that hurt, acknowledging it, and moving on from it is important too and I feel like this show actually helps facilitate that. It has encouraged us to look back at our own experiences and show us how much has changed. It shows how the years of fighting by so many for equality, recognition, and representation are paying off. Through this show, I feel a sense of reconciliation with the past and acceptance of how my own experiences have shaped the person I am today. It gives me a sense of hope that it truly does get better for future generations.
As an adult and as a father, I really appreciate the fact that there is content like this being made, giving representation to the younger part of our LGBTQ community. It feels raw and honest and realistic without being salacious in any way shape or form. It can't be accused of being inappropriate for or sexualizing younger audiences because it is geniunely such a wholesome depiction of teenage romance. It just so happens to involve LGBTQ youth. And while it is so wholesome, it also doesn't shy away from some of the challenges that teenagers may still face. It doesn't hide the fact that there are still some ways to go. Given the recent trend of old homophobic narratives being repurposed towards the transgender community and a resurgence of homophobic sentiment, Heartstopper couldn't have been any more perfectly timed.
So did I find Heartstopper heartbreaking? Yes, I did. In ways I wasn't expecting. It made me reflect on past hurts that I didn't know still lingered but oh my word... Did this show make me feel all the better for it and provide a sense of catharsis? Absolutely.
Have you seen the show yet? What did you think of it? I would love to hear from you in the comments or on my socials to talk about it some more! For now I'm off to order myself copies of all the books released thus far...
Thanks for stopping by and reading x
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