Things Us White People Need To Stop Saying About Racism

I am ashamed but not afraid to admit that many years ago I bought into the narrative that people of colour needed to ‘get over it’ in relation to the slavery, legalised racial discrimination and racial segregation that they had endured. I will add I am not looking for forgiveness for that shame either, I just want to share how my thinking has changed.

The younger and clearly more naive me felt that those things were ‘ancient’ history. At that time I genuinely did not recognise that racism was still an issue or at least as big an issues as it is. I should be very clear that I was always raised to treat everyone equally and more to the point, I was raised to never treat anyone like they were less of a person because of the colour of their skin. In my much smaller world, you could use that phrase that I “did not see colour”. I did not see all that much racism in my world at all. Of course, there were occasions of outright racism (such as racial slurs) that I witnessed and in turn, I was always against it. It always seemed to me that it was a very small minority that held racist views and exhibited those behaviours.

As I grew up and my world widened. I met people from all different walks of life and different cultures. Each of them with their own different histories, perspectives, beliefs and view of the world around them. As a general rule, I love to learn, it was the one aspect of school I did like! I enjoy acquiring new skills and knowledge so I am always open to learning. I was happy to learn from those people in my widening world about their culture and their experiences. Some of that knowledge is incredibly fascinating stuff and some of it is completely mortifying.

It wasn’t very long before I learned (and am still learning) that the racism that I thought was ancient history really wasn’t ancient at all.

We can all agree that the use of the N-word is unacceptable as are other racial slurs and hate crimes etc. That was very much a part of how I was raised. What I didn’t realise all those years ago, was that these things were what is called overt racism. Overt racism is the stuff that is commonly unacceptable in society. What I didn’t realise all those years ago was that racism runs so much deeper than those things. There are so many other examples of racism that are more covert, meaning that in many cases, white people don’t even consciously recognise that we are doing it. Over the years I have been learning more and more about those examples of covert and systematic racism. And I am still learning.

A particular example of this racism links back to how I started this article and the phrase that people of colour need to accept it is history and get over it. Yes, slavery was abolished in the United Kingdom and throughout the British Empire in 1833 and for the United States in 1863. Yes, that was a very long time ago.

Yet, just recently I saw a meme on social media that read “Sir Francis Drake defeated the Spanish Armada in 1588, preventing an invasion of England. He was allegedly playing a game of bowls on Plymouth Hoe when he was warned of the approaching ships, but he decided he could finish his game and still beat the Spaniards. He did. Proud to be British.”

So it’s ok for us to take pride in an event that happened in 1588 but people of colour are expected to ‘get over’ the way things were prior to 1833 (and 1863 in the USA)?

In more recent history, the civil rights movement began in 1954 and the subsequent acts that were introduced saw the end of legalised discrimination and segregation. A movement that had an impact around the world including here in the UK.

I really do not need to give an example of how we Brits take pride in ‘our’ part of defeating Hitler and the end of WW2 in 1945. That success is repeatedly referenced and used in many political and social discussions. We are often reminded to ‘never forget’ those who fought and made the ultimate sacrifice in that war and we do not forget, nor should we. My point is that it is often referred to and used as a clearly defining moment in British history. It was certainly framed that way by many people in recent discussions and arguments around Brexit.

So it’s ok for us to take pride in an event that happened in 1945 but people of colour are expected to ‘get over’ the way things were right up to the Civil Rights Movement?

Now, don’t get this twisted, I am not saying that us British people should not have pride in the successes of the past and the country that allows us to be. Not even slightly. What I am saying is that I’m my mind, it is tremendously hypocritical to tell a person of colour to stop ‘banging on about their history - it’s in the past’ but then turn around and literally bang on about our successes in a war.

This is particularly well illustrated in recent events surrounding the removal of certain statues in the UK (and has happened in other parts of the world too). These statues being of people with a well-documented relationship with racism, such as their involvement in the slave trade. It is quite common to hear the rationale of “it is a part of our history good or bad so the statues should be preserved”.

While on the subject, I may as well share my thoughts it, as I did through my social media:

“No, I don’t think they should be torn down by protestors and destroyed.

However, I don’t think they should be literally put on a pedestal either. By definition, to put something or someone on a pedestal means “you honour that person or place him or her above you, as you might a piece of valued art.” That symbolism is inappropriate to me. Statues should be of those whom we wish to celebrate.

I think they should be taken down properly and placed in appropriate museums where they can be better contextualised and a fuller account of the history can be given. Some people have said that this could be solved by placing a plaque on them. I don’t think a plaque that reads “so and so who did x,y or z good thing but was also a bit of a cockwomble” is doing the history of the piece and subject ‘justice’. Also, just adding a plaque isn’t going to solve that symbolism of being raised on a pedestal.

I do not think that removal of these statues is erasure or denial of history. Especially if they are removed and placed in appropriate learning environments. Let’s be really honest, very few of us even knew of the statue in Bristol before it was ripped down let alone who Edward Colston was. We have learned more about the man it represented since it was torn down than was ever learned whilst it was standing so the argument for keeping it in place with any ‘historic value’ is somewhat flawed.

The same can be said about many of the statues around the country. I think it’s safe to say that a large number of people, perhaps even the majority, don’t take any notice of the statues, don’t know who the statue is depicting or why they are on the pedestal so again, to argue they are of historical importance is flawed because the majority of people simply do not care anyway.

Again, I must stress that I do not think they should be destroyed. I agree they should be placed in appropriate spaces such as museums so a fuller history can be learned. Ironically, that is precisely what people have been petitioning for in Bristol since as early as the 90s. They did not want the statue destroyed. They wanted it placed in a more appropriate learning environment. Had people and their concerns about the symbolism of such a statue been listened to in the first place it would never have been torn down in protest.”


Getting back to the point, there are so many arguments made for preserving history but then people of colour are told ‘to get over it’ in relation to their history!

For me, that mindset is saying that it is ok for white people to continue remembering events from our history but it is not ok for people of colour to continue remembering events from their history. It is saying that not only is it ok and important to remember our history but it is ok to completely disregard everyone else’s. That is exactly how white supremacy works!

It is hypocrisy and is another form of covert (although some may argue that it really isn’t that covert at all) racism, especially considering that, despite the civil rights movement, so many of the inequalities that people of colour face still exist in 2020. Let us be clear here, the civil rights movement did not end racism, it changed racism.

Of course, I am sure that many of those that do use a phrase like “they need to get over it” are the same people that deny racism is even an issue anymore - denying racism even exists IS racism because you are denying and oppressing the actual experiences of people of colour. It’s a subject I am not going to get into too deeply. Racism is still a problem and the events of 2020 and the #blacklivesmatter movement are proof of that. To me, it is undeniable. To me, if you refuse to accept that racism is still a problem; that in itself is a problem, you are a part of the problem.

The same can be said for using the phrase ‘all lives matter’. Of course, they do. No one ever said that they didn’t. The problem with that phrase is that it is not reflected in the world around us. Not all the while that covert or systematic racism is still occurring and people of colour are treated as secondary. Again, that is not debatable. If you refuse to accept that people of colour are still treated as ‘lesser’ humans; that is a problem, you are a part of the problem.

Yet another phrase that I have already referenced is ‘but I don’t see colour - we are all the same’. On the surface, it is a noble sentiment for us to see past the colour of one's skin and see us as all the same. That would be wonderful if it were true. Yes, we are all humans but we are not the same. We all have different experiences of this world and if you don’t see and accept how the colour of their skin affects their experiences of this world; that is a problem, you are a part of the problem.

When I say that ‘you are part of the problem’ I am in no way saying that you are an outright racist. What I am trying to say is that by denying its existence and disregarding the actual experiences of people of colour you are not doing anything about racism at all. And that is a problem. It is not just the problem of people of colour, it is the problem of all of us.

To bring this full circle and go back to my original point. In my younger years, I bought into the narrative that people of colour need to ‘get over it’. I was wrong. What completely changed my mind over the years and showed me how wrong I was, came from listening to people of colour. Really listening to their experiences of the world around them and learning from them. Really listening to how the world treats them and the impact that has on their lives and learning about it.

That learning has changed how I view the world around me and the values I hold. It has given me different viewpoints on my own experiences and the experiences of others. I am going to openly admit here that for a period of my life, I ‘didn’t see colour’. I didn’t see what other peoples skin colour would mean for how that may have shaped their world and their experiences within it. I saw us all as human and that we should all just get along. I didn’t understand that it simply wasn’t that simple. The thing that has changed all of that was years of listening to and learning from others. It has taken so much listening and learning to even begin to understand all of this and yet there is still so much to learn. Without that learning and the ability to change the way we see the world, none of us can ever hope to fix these deep-rooted social injustices. I’ve seen it written elsewhere and it really rings true. It is no longer enough to not be racist yourself. You have to be anti-racist.

As an aside, these are exactly the same sort of things that I would ask, as a gay man, of a heterosexual person when talking about homosexuality and the LGBTQ+ community. Please listen to our experiences and learn from them so that we can all make the necessary changes and fix those problems.

For my part, I promise to continue listening to the experiences of people of colour. I promise to continue learning from them so that my view of the world evolves. I promise to continue elevating their voices so that they can be heard by more people.

This is all just a very ‘brief’ account of just a fraction of my experiences and what I have learned as a white gay man but if you have learned anything at all or seen a new perspective by reading this, I strongly recommend seeking out and listening to the voices of people of colour. It is their experiences we really need to start learning from.

A couple of good places to start are HERE and HERE

Love to you all and thank you for reading x


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