In the last few years, there has been a stream of names to hit the headlines because they have publicly declared their sexuality; Tom Daley, Wentworth Miller, Jodie Foster, Tim Cook, Gareth Thomas, Ellen Page, Jim Parsons and Zachary Quinto are just a few of those names. Each of these people caused a media meltdown by revealing something so personal about themselves. With each of these revelations comes the inevitable reaction from everyone else. From social media to newspapers, these reactions are laid bare. Some applaud those people in the public eye for their bravery whilst others show disdain at yet another celebrity that feels the need to share their personal life with the world at large. At this point, I think it is worth noting that I feel the fact I am in a position to have this discussion is a wonderful thing. The shroud of fear that once hung over people and prevented them from being truly themselves is slowly lifting. Surely, above all, that is a brilliant thing?
Personally, I applaud anyone who does come out publicly because I believe that it is important for everyone to have strong role models both in their personal lives and those from the world of celebrity that entertains and inspires them. Those famous idols often have an ability to touch a person without necessarily meeting them and so they can also have a positive impact and real source of comfort and help to someone in need. The fact that Tom Daley came out might have helped other young men to accept themselves and inspire them not to hide away, and this ultimately has an impact on society as a whole in making the world a more accepting, open and tolerant place. A state that all human beings should be working towards.
Nevertheless, the subject causes a divide in opinion and there are many that feel the opposite. There are those who simply couldn’t care less and can find no reason as to why a famous person coming out is filling out space in the newspaper. And therein, is the crux of this article. Is there a need for a person to publicly announce their sexuality? Why does the media seem to go into overdrive when it happens?
Just recently rap star Eminem appeared in the apparently controversial movie ‘The Interview’ and oh my days, didn’t that just cause a shit storm? Why? Because he ‘came out’… apparently… If you have been living under a rock you may have missed it, which is unfortunate, because Sony seems to have had any clips barred from YouTube. I would provide a link but it would probably just direct you to a blank video. Have a dig around and I am sure you might find a working link.
So yes, after that video, the media went bat shit crazy reporting about his ‘coming out’. Of course, they are very well aware of the fact he was performing in a film and therefore I would imagine that this is supposed to be tongue in cheek, but nevertheless, the media ran with the story. The part that really made me chuckle was that throughout the world of social media, people were actually buying it. The usual responses could be seen over and over… responses like ‘about time’ and ‘who cares’ dropped in by their thousands. Oh, the irony!!!
Bear in mind that this ‘interview’ was part of a film that is billed as a ‘comedic political satire’. To me, the whole section was a blatant jab towards the media and its obsession with sexuality. Therein lies the irony, because of the reaction. Almost to fulfil the expectation, the media and subsequently people the world over, went into overdrive. Whether Eminem is gay or not is not really the big issue here, but the reaction to it. As it is whenever a celebrity steps out of the closet.
Why are the media so obsessed with sexuality? Why is it always considered such big news? Subsequently, why do so many of us seem to buy into the obsession? (Be really honest with yourself about that last one!)
In some ways, it is an extension of the celebrity-obsessed culture we live in and our presumed thirst for ‘news’ about famous people. I often hear the term that these news stories hit because they are ‘in the public’s interest’ in some way suggesting that not only do we want to know, but we have a right to know this information. I am not entirely sure who feels we have a right to this information but it exists. What adds fuel to the fire is that en-masse people then buy into it and line the coffers of the various media outlets. Of course, the media isn’t supplying what we have a right to know but what makes them money. Whether it is the latest sex scandal or sexuality, we are guilty of buying into it. Would these stories gain so much traction if we stopped buying newspapers and visiting news sites? I think it is a safe bet to say no they wouldn’t. In one way or another, this makes us just as guilty. We provide the get-out clause to the media because they can very easily prove that there is a public desire to have this kind of information. I could digress further here but that would be a whole different article. My real focus here is the relationship between us, the media and celebrity sexuality.
I have to wonder, did these people truly want to come out or was there the weight of media pressure to do so. I think it is safe to say that certain outlets of the media often find information and use it to force a situation, apply pressure and make sure that a celebrity comes out. The career of anyone in the public eye often rests on public opinion. Politicians, singers, actors, sports personalities and even businessmen have their career potentially hanging in the balance depending on the public perception of that person. That public perception can be very easily swayed, distorted or utterly destroyed by the media at large. So if they have such ‘big news’ they use it to ensure money is made.
The media seem to make it their duty or mission to spend a lot of time and effort digging around for any kind of information that can be used to sell newspapers which they then use as bait to bribe a celebrity into releasing information themselves, often with an exclusive interview agreement (of course).
Casting my mind back, the case of Steven Gately was an instance where the celebrity was pushed into the situation, reportedly only coming out when he was contacted by a member of the press who was going to run a story from details offered to them by an acquaintance. It was reported as Gately being given the opportunity to break the news himself. Would they have not run the story had he asked them not to? I think it is safe to say that there was no chance in hell that would have been the case. Ultimately, he was pushed into revealing details of his private life in order to try and protect his public image and to an extent, control some of what was going to be hitting the headlines. (Will Young also found himself in a similar situation).
The world over, there are those in the public eye that must wish they could keep their private lives exactly that but they must be living in fear that one day they will get a similar phone call. Some would say that this kind of invasion of privacy comes with the territory of being in the public eye and to a degree, I can understand that viewpoint. Whether I agree with it or not, people do buy into it and there is a big enough contingent that does feel they have a right to know for whatever reason. People always want to know more about their favourite or even least favourite singer, actor, politician etc.
Realistically, should it matter whether that person is gay or not? Of course, it shouldn’t! So should we care when a celebrity comes out? No, we shouldn’t. BUT (and notice how that was a big but), what should matter to us is that any person coming out should be allowed to do so on their own terms and not because a media outlet deems it so. No one should be forced into coming out to anyone unless they are ready for it. That is their own personal choice, whether to the mass public or in everyday life.
I feel this is especially important with a celebrity because they must feel an enormous and unjust pressure that they are going to be outed anyway. In the case of Tom Daley, the press had been speculating about his sexuality for long enough that even he must have known that eventually, he would have paparazzi following him for that photo if they weren’t already. He knew, especially after starting a relationship, that the press would eventually use it to sell newspapers. I can only imagine the kind of pressure he felt. Thinking back to a time before I told my family and friends, I wanted people to know when I was ready and comfortable in my own skin. I wanted to tell people when I felt it was right that they knew and I certainly felt the pressure to keep it hidden until I was ready. I was terrified of being ‘discovered’ and outed before I was ready. Ultimately, I wanted people to know on my terms. Surely in the case of Mr Daley, since he had little choice in whether that piece of ‘news’ was made available to the world, he did have the right to give up that piece of his life on his own terms? Until we live in a world where the masses (re: US) do not devour these bits of ‘news’ and fuel the media pressure we will always see this happen.
Knowing that at some point the media will out you must feel terrible, so why not beat the media to the punch and use the public thirst for this ‘news’ to be a beacon of hope. For all those that look up to a celebrity (or any other idol, we all have them), respect them or are inspired by them, it can be really positive message because it shows that no matter who you are, it is ok to be gay! Or not for that matter.
Whether we feel it is appropriate or not, whether we feel that it is of little or no consequence when a celebrity comes out, they are still human and they do have the right to come out on their own terms and also to be that hope to those that follow them. We all know that it shouldn’t be important if anyone is gay or not, but in this day and age, it is important that people feel comfortable enough to be themselves and be confident about how they feel and who they are. Any idol can instil that confidence.
So, the next time you see yet another article about the next celebrity who is ‘announcing’ their sexuality, rather than complain about its lack of importance, think about the fact that a) there may have been unknown pressure to reveal all and so they have the right to at least do so on their own terms and b) the people that it may give hope to and inspire. You might not agree (and you do not have to), but to someone out there, that bit of news about their favourite celebrity just made it that little bit easier to accept something about themselves in their own personal life journey.
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